How are you feeling? I wish I could listen to your reply.

I'm horrified. I'm sad. I'm bewildered. I feel like we've been living in a state of defeat for years. I've been feeling like less words are necessary. I'm less interested in reading things that end up where I already know I am. 

We know that we need to dig in right where we are. When I feel like that's not helping, I try to remember the light experienced:

• having a short conversation made me feel connected...they probably felt that too
• going to a county dems meeting reminded me that there are others who think similarly, have already been hard at work, are paying attention, are fired up + ready to go...my presence probably did the same for them
• receiving a response from my representative reminded me that I can communicate + be heard...she may have received a bit of encouragement + strength from those words
• digging trenches for potatoes + settling each mass into the soil felt like hope for the future...this act was participation in the regenerative abilities already in each potato

We are here to participate in our mutual flourishing. Yours matters to me.

Much love,
Jane

Simple has become one of my favorite words. Making my clothing simple, my home simple, my skincare simple...each one of these endeavors has influenced my thinking beyond the scope of the project itself. As things become more simple, fog lifts, priorities shift + values come into focus. Over time this can offer a sort of settling to the mind. I long for simplicity to inject all aspects of my life with this sense of peace.

And yet, I find that much of what feels unsettled within has to do with two opposing forces pushing + pulling. There is goodness to the practice of slowing down + focusing in on small moments that bring us joy. A tiny, new leaf in spring or a smile from a stranger can flood our spirits with elation. At the same time, there is goodness in zooming out enough to understand our smallness. A giant cumulus cloud or bright light near the moon (that must be a planet!) can jolt our gloom into perspective.

I like using my creative skills + passion at work. It makes me feel like I'm creating beauty, contributing to a team + have purpose. And I need blocks of gentle, spacious time to refuel + to use my creative skills + passion in different directions. In order to find wellbeing, I need to stay engaged with thoughts toward where + how I am spending my energy.

I've been coming to realizations like this over + over again. There is no simplifying to the point of settling some (maybe most) things in this life. Being alive involves almost constant readjusting, rebalancing + rethinking. Knowing my simple, overall objective (love!) certainly helps move me toward peace, but I cannot simplify myself into complete stillness + rest. Life is engagement with things like:

• zooming in + zooming out
• focused work + gentle, spacious time
• movement + rest
• effort + acceptance

Ram Dass wrote, "You can do it like it's a great weight on you, or you can do it like it's part of the dance." I guess I'm also trying to remember that the dance is not optional.

Love,
​Jane

We're in that vacuum-three-times-a-day, sneeze-five-times-in-a-row, to-do-list-never-ends time of a live-in-it-while-the-work-gets-done project. And yet...as I walked past + saw that pile of brown paper against the subfloor, I saw a kind of beauty in the texture + shadow.

As I walked back to grab my phone, I saw more + more beauty. The photos were collected quickly. Nothing was moved + not much photo editing was done...but the beauty is there...is here...right here in the in-between.

Love,
​Jane

• take a walk
• bake a cake to share
• restock the bird feeder
• sit in the sun
• sit with your favorite drink
• look at the sky
• hug someone you love a little longer than usual
• pet a dog or cat
• smile at a stranger
• light a candle
• listen to well-chosen music 
• do sun salutations
• find a good leaf
• greet a ladybug
• air dry some laundry
• change the sheets
• let someone know you are thinking of them
• eat fruit
• be still
• dance wild
• read familiar, good words
• clean out your bag
• take a picture of a houseplant
• tell your children something you love about them
• paint with watercolors
• plan a meet-up
• massage your partner's hands
• wear colorful socks
• notice the moon

Love is here.
Beauty is here.

Much love,
​Jane

The evening ritual I am in pursuit of involves:

• connection
• stretching
• recording gratitude
• a good drink

My partner + I both work jobs that keep us on our feet with minds darting from task to task. By the time we get home, we just want to plop down + not move. This little set of rituals is helping us bring a bit more intention into our evenings. We'd pretty much already mastered the connection + the additional hydration, but we knew that an evening stretch could benefit our bodies.

We love our Vessel journalling + had been sporadically doing it on the weekends. When Jo mentioned that she had finished hers by doing it every night, I knew I wanted to bring it into my every day. 

My partner + I decided to take on this challenge together, and we talked through the reasons we weren't currently getting to all of these desirable actions on a daily basis. We agreed to a time that we'd both be ready in the morning + a time that we'd head off to bed at night (in order to not be too tired in the morning). Are we perfect? Nope. Have we managed to show up for our ritual reset more often than before? For sure! And that feels pretty great!

Love,
​Jane

Rituals are intriguing + beautiful. Rituals have the ability to bring us home to ourselves...to reconnect us to our truest selves, to our core values, to our people. Anything can become a ritual just by mentally moving it into that category. This feels so mind-clearing-ly simple + so all encompassing-ly beautiful.

Bringing ritual to my mornings feels like transforming my to-do list into a sacred practice. Each element contains an inherent beauty. Each moment is a gift holding possibility, peace, love + transformation.

I've been having fun with week long challenges. A week feels like a manageable time commitment period for me, short enough to hold my focus + long enough to have some feel for the effects of the action. If I'm honest, I do want these practices to become habits + habits take 30 days to form...blah, blah...but the bite-sized, week-long shift idea is working for me...so that's that.  :) It's a good place to start anyway.

Simplicity is a good tool for my scattered mind, so I kept my ritual list simple + uncomplicated. Each morning, as best I can, I want to:

• take in good words
• journal
• meditate
• stretch

The good words may come in the form of a daily newsletter, a podcast excerpt previously saved, a quote written in my journal, or a chapter or page of a good book. Journalling helps me listen, process, internalize + prioritize. We've been experimenting with meditation + are staying curious about its benefits for us. And I feel like slow stretching + a few sun salutations just opens me up mentally + physically.

I truly feel the benefits of these intentional practices throughout the day. It's like I've touched who I want to be...or nearish...and I feel a bit more tethered to it. My harmony is coming into focus little by little by little.

Love,
​Jane

Hopefully the idea that these tonics are not recipes, but permission to play with what is on hand is coming through. The mint leaves here are from our garden. They dried the first time I brought them inside before I could decide how to use them. Simple. They make the best tasting mint tea I've ever tasted, and they are so plentiful that I feel like I can play around with them to my heart's content. Today I added a dried orange slice, honey + the juice of leftover lime. After that steeps in a little water from the kettle, I will top it off with tap water + chill it in the fridge.

I find so much satisfaction in throwing a little of this in with a glug of that...all whole foods...often a feast for the eyes, a treat for the nose + a joy to the tastebuds. The creative act of making these tonics elicits at least as much joy for me as does the consuming. I find more freedom here than with my usual meal making, because often other's tastes don't need to be considered. (Though I often make enough to share.)

This feels like a luxurious permission. I'm a person who spends a lot of time happily trying to be empathetic + compassionate. This act of love toward myself need not be labeled selfish or exclusionary. It is simply nourishing in a way that feeds so many parts of me in small, yet meaningful, ways.

Love,
​Jane

Snippets from this week's drawn cards, journal entries, words read aloud together, thoughts + phone notifications (in chronological order):

What does freedom mean to me?
Freedom from the constraints
​of the way things are normally done.

How would it change my view of shelter to think of indoor space after thinking of living in the world of living things- trees, sky, mushrooms, birds, milkweed, snow, moon...? Somehow my picture of my ideal shelter became smaller and the importance of furniture and a place for everything receded. It became only wall of windows and skylight.

When we release our expectations
+ attachment to specific outcomes,
​we free the mind.
~Headspace

​The presence of one good outfit for the situation is comfort...is (possibly?) enough. That might be worth investigating further.

Branches waving newly sprouted leaves in the breeze​, the dance of the trio of robins in the grass, the alignment of that closest star, spinning planet and my own fingers creating shadow...all evidence that nature is home. All is interconnected. Love is the way forward.

I desire rituals in my life. I envision ritual as a moment when I tune in to goodness, beauty + connection. This morning, it occurred to me that my favorite rituals are often just the way we do life. I neglect to recognize them as rituals, but they become even more precious when named as such.

A few rituals that are very much worth remembering as such:

• I love that he brings me a cup of coffee every morning (lately he is trying to make the milk foam as tall as he can + it makes a really funny gnome's cap on top) 
• I love that she comes out of her room when I get home from work, and we ask how each other's day was (neither of us have too much exciting to say, but we are together)
• I love sending an I-love-you text to her before I go to sleep every night + receiving a good-morning text from her every morning (but mostly the ones in between)
• I love doing wordle with him after dinner (and fist bumping every trivial accomplishment)

​Reading this today (a month after I wrote it) reminded me of the richness of these moments ...again! I often wonder if these musings are worth putting out into the abyss...but today I feel the simple value myself. Let's take note of treasured moments + give them the name they deserve. Naming reminds me to maintain these practices...to see the sacred in them...to return to them again + again...ritual.

Love,
​Jane

When I came home that day + walked up the stairs, the light hit my eyes differently. I turned around + saw a shadow that in 13 years of living in this house I'd never seen before. The angle of the sun...the time of day...the lack of cloud cover...my attention...all aligned for just a moment. The sun streamed clear through the sliding door on one side of the house to this wall on the other side, and it was worth noticing. 

I took this arguably unremarkable picture to send to my partner right away. Can you believe it? This light that I've never seen before!? Amazing!

This is not the type of thing that I hear people speak of much, but it's the type of thing I'd love to have conversations about. Ross Gay talks about acknowledging such delights as an act of resistance. Ann Voskamp recognizes them as gifts of love. Richard Rohr recognizes characteristics of the Divine in such things. I feel the gutteral joy that can be experienced in such moments as a sort of homecoming to the most basic + deepest sense of ourselves. We reawaken to our knowing that our deepest self is connected to the center of it all...to Love. This beauty before us is an expression of Love...and in noticing...stopping...letting it penetrate to our essence...we connect...plug in...to our connection with that center...

In this moment, we see clearly again. Namaste...the light in me sees the light in you...the beauty in me sees the beauty in you...the love in me sees the love in you. We are connected...in Love...connected to light, to sky + soil, to color + sound, to each other. From this place, completely immersed in Love, this is where joy + hope + compassion are found.

Love,
Jane