I've had one of those mornings when I come to what I think will be a lifting conclusion in my journal, and it ends up being another dead end. Over the past few years, I've learned that there is so much I don't know. It has been incredibly unmooring.
I've filled journals with things I don't know...things that I will never know...cannot know...things that perhaps don't matter in the grand scheme of things. The thing is I live in a very small scheme of things too, and things that won't matter in one hundred years do matter to me now.
So, I still haven't untangled my unknowing. I think back over what I've written + wonder...what do I know for sure? Today my offering is this:
-I never regret choosing to love. I may be saddened by how my love is received. Usually there is something to learn from this, but there may be times when the reaction is not entirely my story to carry.
-The mint standing tall in my garden smells amazing. The great imperfection of the rest of the garden does not make this less true.
-Laying flat on my back after a day on my feet feels blissful. Dinner can wait another ten minutes.
-It's incredibly hard work, but I can shape + reshape my perspective. I can have hope without being a dope. I can have joy without being ignorant. I can know that there is, was, and will be pain + sorrow...and I can know that I am doing my best with the best of intentions- when I am.
-Helping remove a tick from a beloved dog feels like an accomplishment. No one getting bitten in the process is a bonus.
-Just because another "I don't know" comes along doesn't mean that there aren't things I know for sure.
Wishing you many knowings of your own today,
Jane
I've filled journals with things I don't know...things that I will never know...cannot know...things that perhaps don't matter in the grand scheme of things. The thing is I live in a very small scheme of things too, and things that won't matter in one hundred years do matter to me now.
So, I still haven't untangled my unknowing. I think back over what I've written + wonder...what do I know for sure? Today my offering is this:
-I never regret choosing to love. I may be saddened by how my love is received. Usually there is something to learn from this, but there may be times when the reaction is not entirely my story to carry.
-The mint standing tall in my garden smells amazing. The great imperfection of the rest of the garden does not make this less true.
-Laying flat on my back after a day on my feet feels blissful. Dinner can wait another ten minutes.
-It's incredibly hard work, but I can shape + reshape my perspective. I can have hope without being a dope. I can have joy without being ignorant. I can know that there is, was, and will be pain + sorrow...and I can know that I am doing my best with the best of intentions- when I am.
-Helping remove a tick from a beloved dog feels like an accomplishment. No one getting bitten in the process is a bonus.
-Just because another "I don't know" comes along doesn't mean that there aren't things I know for sure.
Wishing you many knowings of your own today,
Jane
