The conversation around choosing "less" seems to most often come from the perspective of more. This point of view sees the benefits of "less" as less to care for + maintain, less to clean, a smaller mortgage, less to furnish or fill with extra stuff, less to heat or cool. This perspective can, for many, feel like a foreign concept. Is there any benefit to choosing "less" for those of us coming from a place of just scraping by?

We've never had a whole lot of money, so we don't have a dramatic story of downsizing from a huge house, getting rid of 16 chairs, or 49 garbage bags full of stuff. Our story comes from the other direction. Being able to frame our situation as choosing "less" rather wishing for more is a perspective that is meaningful to us. It was incredibly affirming for me to be able to flip the story in my head from one of longing for a bigger, nicer, newer house...to truly loving the tiny, old, fixer-upper we could afford...to enjoying the search at garage sales, flea markets + junk stores...to feeling like we were doing something in line with our values + decreasing the resources (both monetary + material) needed to support our lives + lifestyle.

A few of the less expected benefits of choosing "less" ::
-I don't compare myself to others as much...and when I do it's usually to recognize the liberation I feel rather than the pressure to have a nicer car or bigger house. 

-I have a different idea of what it means to have a "finished" house. A few library books on the shelf (yup, there is now bookshelf space for library books)...a few rocks or shells collected on vacation...a candle...a cup of tea...a comfy place to enjoy that book + cup of tea give me pleasure...rather than waiting for a remodeled kitchen.

-I'm happy with a car that runs, a warm place to sleep, good food to eat, laughter, love + friendship. 

-I see beauty in simple things like a leaf, a handful of acorns, a rock...and those things have room to shine + be viewed as honored objects when we choose to bring them inside. We notice the light change in a room...sunsets + seasons.

-I see the beauty in aged things...useful things. I appreciate patina as a sign of a useful thing...which is beautiful in itself. Whether the object is rescued from a flea market, thrift store, my beloved's closet, or aged by me. The hole worn by a wallet or that place he likes to rub on his sleeve...now the person is visible in the object.

-There is less demand for the trade off of time for money. The freedom to be creative or curious or to choose enjoyable or service driven work (which often pays less) is an incredibly beautiful liberation.

-There is less fear of losing it all. It's not that we want to be cavalier or reckless, but the anxiety fades.

-It rubs off. Our lives bear witness to all these benefits of less. People notice.

"Less", for us, has resulted in freedom...liberation...and enlightenment. It wasn't until I did the work of changing my internal dialogue + started listening to the surprising things my mind was saying back to me that I felt that I understood a bit of what the word "enlightenment" could mean.

So much of it is about perspective...which is, I suppose, the root of happiness.

Love,
Jane

Movement + nature are another major component of self-care in this department. The wellness industry would like us to sell us personal trainers, books, classes, retreats, special clothing + equipment. 

We instinctively know that the true self-care comes from:
-moving...stretching, a few sun salutations, walking, yoga, whatever movement you enjoy
-getting into nature...walking, hiking + biking are great, but so is finding a shady spot for lunch...when it's hot sit on the stoop in the shade in the morning for a few minutes or at least by an open window

On these hottest of days...move, do yoga, or stretch under a fan...get the air moving. Play some vibey, soft music. Getting on the floor changes everything. Take a walk as the sun comes up. Play some happy, energizing music loud + dance. Sign up for a class or a membership, if it's in the budget + you know you'll go...but it's not self-care, if our budgets can't support it.  ;)

Whether or not I feel like tying my shoes to go for a walk in the morning, the outdoor air always holds something to notice...heat, humidity, a breeze, a change. I feel small in the bigness of nature...even in my neighborhood. I usually walk with my girls, so there is conversation + closeness. And back at home, I feel like I've done it (!)...the chore of exercise no longer looms over my head. My legs + my lungs feel stronger. There is a lightness + usually a smile. Now that is self-care...no debt...no guilt...less stress.

​A healthy diet, movement + a little time spent in nature can set us up for another crucial aspect of self-care...sleep. A regular schedule for bedtime + waking is helpful. A twenty minute nap can be a rejuvenating treat as well.  :)

While our circumstances + preferences will vary greatly, I think our thought processes can have something in common along the way. Self-care is not truly self-care if it leaves us feeling more stressed about our health, time or money. True self-care promotes true thriving.  :)

​Also in this series :: roots + time

Love,
​Jane

The promotion of self-care is everywhere, and that's no surprise. We live busy lives filled with obligation, and many (most?) of us are left feeling depleted. And when something can be sold...the opportunity is sure to be leapt upon with great vigor. A search for self-care on beauty + fashion websites produces lists of posh meditation + yoga retreat centers or lists of products to purchase. A search on instagram produces pictures of coffeeshop drinks + facials + sculpted eyebrows + toddler's hands painted with nail polish.

When we take a minute to think about what we would truly like to get out of self-care...we might desire it to spark healing + rejuvenation. The way we often partake, however, is more as a sort of quick fix. We look for hits of dopamine/pleasure that we can get from things like shopping + sugar. These indulgences act as a sort of inadequate bandaid used to patch over an unwell life...when what we are really searching for is a feeling of peace within our minds + souls. 

As a matter of perspective: 
--This whole understanding of self-care seems to be relatively new. Self-care has long been a term used in the mental health care field to determine a person's ability to care for him or her self + to perform the activities of daily living such as feeding oneself, bathing, getting dressed, brushing teeth + remaining continent.
--It's interesting to think about what self-care would have meant to the masses up until quite recently. Making sure that a family or tribe had shelter, enough to eat, firewood + appropriate clothing was a full-time endeavor. Surely this is + was considered self-care. This is the way many around the world would still view self-care today.
--Our own views of self-care will vary based on personal preferences + life circumstances. 

I think that many of us (and quite possibly even those mentioned above) could agree to some degree that the goal of good self-care is to enable thriving. Self-care can take many forms, but if we neglect the roots of our stress, anxiety + barriers the effects will be fleeting.

Effective self-care comes down to truly knowing ourselves + taking an honest look at the lives we are living. If self-care is, at least in part, about being able to take care of ourselves...we can start by asking ourselves:
-Am I getting enough sleep?
-Am I feeling nourished through the foods I eat?
-Does showering, washing hair + brushing teeth feel like a chore?
-Is my/our laundry routine working for me/my family?
-How is my health? Mentally? Physically? Spiritually? Am I self-medicating in a negative way?
-Do I have some supportive people in my life? Do I feel isolated?
-Is my living situation clean, safe + nurturing?
-What parts of my life feel overwhelming?

Once we've been thoughtful + honest about our current reality, we can go back to each of these questions + think about what we would like the answer to be or look like. Be as specific as possible. Do you want to start each week with clean sheets + a stack of clean underwear? Do you want your littles to know what to wear each morning? Write it down. This can start to direct our self-care efforts.

Now...clean sheets on Sundays...that's self-care. Organizing your littles' closets so that all five pairs of their pants match all seven of their tees + their two hoodies (it's not just about matching...it's mainly about less)...that's self-care. Another frappe could never touch the thriving that these actions will bring!

We'll dive a little bit deeper into self-care here in the days to come.

My desire is for your health + thriving. As always, these are just my thoughts + not a substitute for professional mental health care. Please be kind to yourself + ask for help, if you think it might be helpful. 

​Also in this series :: time + wellness

Much love,
Jane

Many of us have learned this lesson in some area of our lives...maybe through putting in the time + effort to study in school...or maybe through eating well for a period of time. I've been particularly surprised by how decreasing the amount of my possessions has changed my thinking. The desire to find something to bring home from a trip no longer tugs at me. Wandering through the mall once a week no longer appeals to me. Packaged junk food doesn't have such a hold on me. 

Having experimented with dressing with less + living with less, I now find it easier to recognize enough in my closet...in the decoration of my home...on my bookshelf...and at the grocery store. I feel like I've inched a tiny bit further away from illusion + closer to Reality. I still live in the midst of illusion + I am still affected by it, but I am also aware of its shifty + deceptive nature. I look forward to more discoveries in this direction...the direction of Reality.

Love, 
​Jane

I recently heard someone say that there were really only three essential pieces of furniture for them. I think in their case that included a bed, a desk + a couch. They were able to use the bar in their kitchen for meals. I would personally count chairs + barstools as furniture, but I did find the original statement intriguing. 

I'm not against having more than a few pieces of furniture...and now that we've lived in the same place for eight years (rather than our previous average of two)...we don't really need to be quite so nimble either. I just like keeping things tight (+ useful) in terms of stuff. I also think that checking in periodically with what is truly "enough" promotes my happiness with what I already have.

When it comes to living rooms, priorities are, of course, quite individual. Some enjoy sitting on the floor. They decide to go without conventional living room furniture (though I think a rug would be helpful). Children can especially enjoy this type of living which offers lots of room for play.

On the other hand, people often shop for houses with entertaining in mind, + I know that there are those amazing souls who practice almost daily hospitality. We have known a few + I am eternally grateful for their generous acts of friendship. Most of our time at these friends' homes was spent around a large table. The gathering rarely moved anywhere else at all.

If simplicity is at top of mind, we might consider prioritizing family living in the living room. At our house, a comfortable place to sit + a source of light are what I'd most like to have in this space. These things are true luxuries, if I stop to think about it. These two elements are surely "enough".

There are three main ways of making a living room that appeal to me:
​-a couch (because I liked to have room to cozy up with my girls + a book...or with my guy) + a chair or two
-four comfy (enough to nap in) armchairs around a big circular stool ​​​
​-one comfy sectional + stool

Four full-grown humans live in our home right now, so these formulations are made with that in mind.  :) A couple (even one with small children) may be happy with two comfy chairs or one compact couch. Another note: we furnished our entire home with pieces from Craigslist + inexpensive vintage shops, when we moved back to the states from overseas. I was just patient + choosy.  :)

We are not the only ones without a television these days. Laptops work well for viewing a show, + projecting movies onto a blank wall or a screen that rolls out of view is an appealing option as well. Drinks + a couple of library books are happy on the floor. Again, a light + a comfy place to sit are the main elements in a living room (in my opinion). A few chairs from the dining table or desk can be pulled in for added guest seating. 

Knowing "enough" can help stave off the quest for more. It can allow us to find peace + to rest in contentment (in regards to the acquisition of stuff). It allows us to live with a spirit of generosity rather than hoarding things from others. It is less costly for our natural resources. It might even allow us to sit + enjoy one of those comfy seats with someone we love.  ;)

All lovely photos via links. Previously: inspiration :: enough :: bedroom. 

Love,
Jane

Every so often I like to look around + try to see our space with new eyes. I try not to look for things to add. I try not to be dissatisfied with what is. I just like to hit the reset button. Are things working? Are we still using that desk? Is that stool necessary? 

We've moved often enough to know that "more" is almost never the answer...but "more" is often what we think will improve things. When I instead change my perspective to look for what is truly necessary, my contentment grows. 

A little "enough" therapy is sometimes in order. These images point me toward what is necessary...and also restful + beautiful. All that a bedroom needs...really needs...is a place to sleep. A light + a plant might be nice...but a bed...a bed is an incredible thing! A soft place to stretch out + dream. It never ceases to make me smile, when I sink in at night. 

We can take a bed for granted. It's a given. We are going to have a bed in the bedroom...now what else can we add? But if we start to see a bed for what it really is...we can start to value it for the fantastic thing that it is all on its own. Now instead of seeing the room as lacking a certain chair or thing to hang on the wall, we can see that we already have all that we need.

I can't write this without thinking of all of those who don't have a safe place to sleep at night. Donating to a local shelter, organization working with refugees abroad or those closer to home would be a great way to manifest our "enough" with generosity + to share a tiny bit of comfort with others. I've linked just a few options...there are so many others.

All lovely images via links.

Love,
Jane

A couple of Saturdays ago, I found myself sucked into a van life rabbit hole. One video turned into another...partially because I found this couple just so likable.  :) I haven't been totally attracted to long-term van life, because it doesn't fit our stage of life right now...but I am attracted to a life filled with exploration + adventure + not being hindered by stuff.

When I'm trying to keep perspective on how much I do have + that I don't need more, I often think of people far less fortunate than my family. I'm so lucky to have all that I do have. I have everything that I need. This week I found myself thinking of van lifers as well...having all they need in that vehicle...especially in terms of clothing. When I'm on vacation I'm happy to wear the one sweatshirt I have, when it's sweatshirt weather. I'm happy to wear the one pair of pants or shorts or jacket or trainers or sandals that I have. I wash things less often, but enough. It doesn't matter if I wear the same sweatshirt for parts of every day for two weeks. I'm not really thinking about my clothing, because I'm looking outward ...experiencing every moment of every day. My clothing is quite important. (I've had to buy an extra layer when I misjudged things on camping trips.) Clothing enables the adventure. It's a tool. It keeps the mosquitos off, enables swimming, hikes well, keeps me cozy or cool or dry.

I'd like to be able to keep this perspective in mind in my daily life as well. I don't have to keep all of my clothes in a cubby, but there is no reason that I (+ the planet) can't benefit from this mindset.

I think I've linked this video here before, but it combines what to me is the best of van life + mindful living. My thoughts revisit this concept often. Intentional living comes in an endless number of forms + can be just so incredibly creatively constructed.

Love,
Jane

In order to keep myself motivated + to recognize the projects + growth I've tackled...I try to do a monthly check-in with myself + my notebook. I like to list some goals at the beginning of the month + check in with them periodically. At the end of the month, I go back + make notes...and set some intentions for the month ahead. I'm not always great at doing this right at the turn of the month + I'm ok with that.

Month by month I like to list:
-zero-waste/simple living exploration
-wardrobe goals + projects
-budget goals
-books I read
-things I create
-what I'm wearing + thoughts
-seasonal pleasures I'm enjoying
-exercise goals
-relationship goals
-teaching goals + projects
-a to-do list

I'm also working through Richard Foster's Celebration of Discipline for the second year in a row + recording notes + thoughts.

And I like to do the Moon List questions as they come out...for personal reflection + self knowledge. 

Sitting down with a cup of tea, a favorite playlist + a lit candle...getting off-line...and using my handwriting...takes me into a different state of mind. This slow introspection almost always has me coming away with spirits lifted. My actions haven't necessarily changed, but my recognition of all that has been accomplished + explored brings me a bit of a sense of value that I may not have felt before. It also gives me a sense of direction going forward.

What is your monthly practice?

Love,
​Jane

This month I've been taking a sort of zero-waste inventory of our bathroom. I like to take a look at things as a whole periodically in order to gauge my progress.

A great way to eliminate waste created by an item altogether is to consider the necessity of the item. If we don't need it, we don't even have to search for a zero-waste alternative! (Pass the product on to a friend who will use it, or donate it to a shelter.) I love how the quest to decrease waste pushes us to become more + more simple + natural.

For those products that we do choose to continue using, we look for ::
-multi-functional products (like the soap we use as body soap, shaving cream, make-up remover, stain remover + facial soap)
-reusable rather than disposable versions (such as a safety razor)
-items that can be composted at the end of their functional lifespan rather than added to the landfill (such as a bamboo toothbrush)
-items we can make at home from natural ingredients that we can find unpackaged or packaged in recyclable packaging (such as our toothpowder + lip balm)
-items packaged in reusable (such as my facial moisturizer) or recyclable packaging (toilet paper)

Here is a little update of the choices we are currently making in our bathroom (by no means perfect or recommended...just honesty) ::

bamboo toothbrushes (a) :: compostable, recyclable/compostable packaging, landfill bristles
tooth powder (a) :: made by me from two paper + glass packaged ingredients 
unpackaged soap (b) :: no packaging, available locally 
shampoo bar (b) :: recyclable paper packaging (update here)
conditioner bar (b) :: recyclable paper packaging
lotion bar (b) :: no packaging, available locally
facial moisturizer (c) :: reusable glass + metal packaging, available locally
comb (d) :: fair-trade, compostable
deodorant (e) :: no packaging, long-lasting
compostable floss (f) :: compostable, reusable glass + metal, refills
​lip balm (g) :: made by me from local + natural ingredients in recyclable packaging
toilet paper (h) :: recycled, recyclable paper packaging, available locally
​hairbands, bobby pins, clip (i) :: long-lasting, clip is 20 years old
safety razor (j) :: metal, paper packaging, long-lasting, cost-effective, recyclable blades
nail clippers (k) :: long-lasting, 30 years old
​period panties + no applicator tampons (l) :: organic cotton, fair, reusable, less waste
(a menstrual cup is a wonderful option for those who can use them)
towels + bath mat (n) :: fair-trade, organic cotton
scissors + hair clippers (o) :: long-lasting, no cost haircuts for all  :)

I also have 2 bamboo brushes (m), an eyelash curler, some face powder, blush + eyeshadow that I don't routinely use. I have put them aside for occasional use at this point, which means that all of the above are long-lasting. Jo keeps the tweezers in her room + I "borrow" them as needed.  :) I've also kept the hairdryer, but haven't used it in years.

I put together a pinterest page for my own reference + as a place to collect options I might like to try when something here runs out. Feel free to check it out for links + further explanations of my choices.  :)

Love,
Jane 

P.S. I'm careful in this space to use language that communicates that I'm sharing my own choices + journey. I try to do the best I can with the choices + priorities I have. I make a concerted effort not to sound like I'm giving advice. Please feel free to make the choices that make the most sense to you + your priorities...and to share your journey as well.  :)