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fewer ends: 03: kid's activities

8/31/2015

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the year my daughter spent exclusively wearing her sister's outgrown ballet tutu, leotard, tights and ballet slippers…just waiting to be old enough for her own class…is one of my favorite memories.

extra curricular activities have always been a fun thing to participate in…until they are not.  it's something i try to rethink every year.  is this still fun?  is it still right for this girl right now?  can i afford this next level?  sometimes the answer has to be, "no."  the year came when ballet just wasn't right anymore.  the year came when a new interest trumped an outgrown one.  the time came when a desire was no longer an option for our family.  it can be hard to walk away from an activity…as much, or more, for mama as for the intended participant.  a cherished circle of friends is not so readily maintained, and yet we know it's time to move on…so we do.  

we're talking about making fewer ends, so it makes sense for us to consider monetary commitment when it comes to extra curricular activities.  in our family, we're all happier living within our means.  i've never shied away from letting the girls know a bit about our financial situation.  they know why we choose to live the way we do and what that means for our finances.  i try to talk about our choices in a positive way.  the good always outweighs the sacrifice, and they've always been able to understand that.  

i understand that it's not always quite that easy to give up an activity though.  there are a lot of opinions about how to deal with kid's activities and pressures are all around us:
~expose them to everything!  you never know what they'll be good at.
~find a way to help them be exceptional at at least one thing.  how else will they stand out on a college application?
~if you're not in your minivan all afternoon, well…what do you do all day?
~your identity comes from answering, "i'm soooo busy!" to every "how are you?" question.

yep.  i've felt all of the above.  

i had to get creative about exposure.  we were blessed to live in places that offered inexpensive weeklong summer classes in rock climbing, horseback riding, art, soccer, and costume making through church and a local community college.  i loved using my creative talents coming up with craft camps of our own and having friends over to do projects with.  if a special interest arose, i did my best to find creative ways to indulge them.  jo and julia love horses, so for some birthday or christmas gifts they received monthly horseback riding lessons for a few months.

i want my girls to enjoy their extra activities period.  making friends, learning to follow instructions, moving their bodies, exercising their minds, and doing their best are added benefits and better life lessons than the pressure to be exceptional.  if they want to excel at something, they can choose to work hard and i will do my best to support that effort.

i've never had to work too hard to curb overcommitment, since my budget doesn't allow for it…but, i was always happy that my girls had time to relax and play.  i don't fit in with all the moms, and that's ok.  i know that my choices are right for my family.

as finances and choices allow, one family may decide to choose one activity per child at a time, another may allow one musical instrument plus one sport, and still another family might decide romps in the woods and following interests at home are the right choice for them.  one child might love taking piano lessons and the other might enjoy taking small electronics apart in order to learn and investigate.

vive la difference!

embrace their interests…and your budget.  leave them time to explore, imagine, and play.  i love for my girls to have the chance to explore new skills and fortunately most things involve little more than a library book and some space.  the girls have taught themselves to do gymnastics, write novels, and play the piano and ukelele.  sometimes i have to remind myself that it's ok if they can't do everything right now.  they can get a black belt when they are over the age of 18, if they want to.  there isn't a time limit on learning.  struggling to pay the bill (or spending every afternoon trapped in a minivan) is too much…for me and for them.  

in case i haven't quite been clear:  reevaluate the kids' extra-curriculars.  decide what budget you want to have for them.  switch the order of those first two steps if necessary.  decrease the amount of activities, if you want to.  talk to them about what you are choosing instead, and why it's good.  get creative about exposing your kids to new things.  could you teach them to do yoga?  could a group of mom-friends get together and each offer a morning teaching a skill to all their kids?  could you gather kids from the neighborhood and play soccer on sunday afternoons with them?  maybe spending time with them would be better for everyone than you having to stress and work extra to pay for activities and then spending all afternoon in the car waiting for him at taekwondo.

love,
jane
  
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in season:  carmen peppers

8/28/2015

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yes!  we love these!  they are sweet peppers and they've done better than ever this year. here's one of the ways we ate them this week!
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reverse stuffed peppers

quinoa
feta cheese (from the salad bar in our own container)
carmen (or red bell) peppers
assorted tomatoes
cucumber
onion
pepper flakes 
salt

as the quinoa cooks, heat oil over medium heat.  add onions, sungold tomatoes and halved carmen peppers to the oil.  plate it all together and enjoy!  this is so flavorful!  yum.

love,
jane
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summer reading: 10

8/27/2015

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laughter.  tears.  thought provoking.  

love,
jane
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summer fresh barley salad

8/26/2015

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summer fresh barley salad

tomato
avocado
onion
cucumber
cilantro
lime, squeezed
barley, cooked
pepper flakes
salt

mix and enjoy!
next time i want to add feta.


love,
jane

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minimal summer wardrobe

8/25/2015

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i like playing with clothing.  i decided to imagine what my "perfect minimal summer wardrobe" would look like.  it's the perfect time to do it, because i know what i like to wear right now for my lifestyle and for this weather…so i have a good chance of getting it just right.  i drew out some pieces that seem like they could be my dream pieces.
i ended up noting a number of the pieces in my actual wardrobe in this dream selection.  that is somewhat surprising and altogether satisfying!  :)  i was finished quite quickly and when i looked at the page, i realized i could just substitute in some of the dresses i already have for the ones i dreamt up.
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voila, my perfect minimal summer wardrobe actually exists in my closet and on my body right now!  

the pieces:

3 dresses:
~white linen dress
~black tee dress
~black and white caftan

2 jumpsuits:
~navy linen
~tan linen

4 tops:
~black tee
~cream tee
~white linen tank
~liberty tank

2 shorts:
~denim cut-offs
~soft olive

2 pairs of shoes:
~black and white flip-flops
~toms


there are a few other items that get occasional use like my dressier sandals, a grey cardigan, and a long sleeve indigo tee, but i've listed my main pieces for a summer full of fun and relaxation!  i ended up donating or selling a few of the now extra pieces that didn't make my list.  i feel like this will be useful information when i'm putting together next summer's wardrobe.  i can just look at what pieces need to be replaced and go from there…knowing these pieces will be enough!

what have you learned about your clothing habits this summer?

love, 
jane
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fewer ends: 02: feel the seasons

8/24/2015

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speaking of fewer ends, i thought i'd share a few of the ways that we've made them.  

i grew up in a home without air-conditioning.  summer conjures up memories of sleeping with the windows open to cricket song and the cool breeze magnified by a big sucking window fan my dad rigged into the porch door at the top of the stairs.  it was a bit of a struggle to fall asleep in my sticky upstairs room, but it was pure summer.

now, i love to have the windows open for as long as possible each summer morning.  i want to feel summer!  the ceiling fan allows us to delay turning on the air-conditioning just a little longer…and leave the temperature on the thermostat higher when we do turn it on.  it is possible to get a little sweaty inside our house on a hot summer day, but i relish wearing a cool, sleeveless linen dress with bare feet.  i like seeing farmer's market sunflowers on the table and adding ice, lemon and mint to my tea.  

i love sleeping under the cool breeze of a fan…or under a weighty duvet depending on the season.  at night we let the temperature get a bit more extreme in either direction- not unbearable.  i want us to feel the seasons.  i love the excitement that comes from getting out the duvets each autumn... and the pleasure in feeling the added weight of that welcome warmth when my skin starts to feel the nip of the first frosty air.  i also love the excitement that comes from washing those same duvets and rolling them up into the space that holds the fans the rest of the year.

when the temperatures outside dip, we happily snuggle into squishy sweaters, leggings and warm socks.  it is possible that we might like to add a blanket, scarf or even a cute beanie (probably not all of the above) to our ensembles.  a warm cup of tea or apple cider and the spicy glow of a lit candle feels just right.

i love the seasons, and inside my home is as good a place as any to experience them.  

the goal is not discomfort, but we are not keeping a constant temperature inside throughout the year.  why should we?  it makes no sense to me that i should be wearing jeans on a 95 degree day, or that i would wear a sleeveless dress without a sweater in the middle of winter.  by dressing for the season and being willing to feel them, i'm ready to nudge my thermostat into leaving a little more money in my bank account.  (this is actually quite a noticeable amount of money!)…and it's good for the earth!


in case i wasn't exactly clear, the money saving tip is:  keep the air-conditioning and heat off as much as possible.  keep the thermostat temperature higher in the summer and lower in the winter.  nudge it higher or lower still at night and when you leave the house for a period of time.  program your thermostat by season and according to your time at home.  enhance your ability to do that by using fans, more blankets, and appropriate clothing.  

love,
jane :)
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fewer ends

8/20/2015

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my husband is a youth pastor.  it is not a job that comes with a large paycheck, but he is doing just what we feel God has called him to do.  i am a mom who feels called to stay at home with my girls, and this is my tenth year of homeschooling. 

we have struggled to make ends meet, and my husband has had second and sometimes even third jobs.  i have taken care of other couple's babes and tried to sell my hand-mades.  i sometimes feel like that might count as fourth or fifth jobs.  :)  and yet, we are determined to work in order to live, and not to live to work.  we don't want to get caught in the trap of working for extra things that require us to keep working in order to maintain upkeep and replacement not to mention upgrades.  our best work has been done in keeping with this quote:

instead of figuring out how to make ends meet, work on having fewer ends.  ~courtney carver

i'd like to address a few of the ways we have been able to have fewer ends in the next couple of weeks, but in the meantime here is the most useful and perhaps most obvious way i've found to stick to a budget and curb spending.  for the last couple of months i've been keeping track of every bit of spending.  i write budget categories on the front of a folded piece of paper.

our overall budget categories:
-income
-tithe
-mortgage
-electric
-gas
-trash
-water
-waste water
-phone/internet
-cell phone(s)
-car insurance
-car gas
-extra curricular activities (girls)
-food
-savings
-miscellaneous

i have already determined how much money is allocated to each of these categories.  as each bill gets paid, i fill in the amount and make note of how much over or under the allotted amount that is.  inside this folded piece of paper, i make a more spacious area to record:
-food
-car gas
-miscellaneous

these are the amounts that need my special attention during the month.  i also note what each purchase was, so i can look back and see what was a good purchase and what was unnecessary.

at the end of the month, i can see exactly where the problems came from…or...  i can feel great about extra money that was not spent that can go right into savings!

this does take some time, but it is time well spent and i actually have spent more time feeling in control of our budget (rather than a victim of it) lately!

inspiring short video

love,
jane
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enough

8/19/2015

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i uncover this theme quite often, and it comes with a jolt of discovery every time.

it took me a while to realize that "enough" is such a powerful word!  i can actually visualize "enough" punching the thought of a new pair of jeans in the face!  POW!  it round kicks a conversation our friends are having about getting their 14 year-old sons newer versions of our "nice" car as soon as they turn 15.  WHAM!  "enough" sucker punches talk of their new custom built 3000 square foot house.  BAM!  (those are all the fighting words i know, so i'll have to quit…but you get the idea.)  :) 

striving for simpler and less has made me so much happier with the things i do have…and less attached too.  recognizing that what i have is enough- more than enough…that it is a gift from God to have what i have…it has given me the power to overcome the pull of consumerism (not every time, but most of the time now).  i may still think things are beautiful or cool, but i know that i do not need to own them.  more things will not make my life better or make me more bohemian or edgy or whatever i'm into at the moment.  i am not what i put on.  i am not what i own.  i am not the vacation i go on.  even with more, i will still just be me.     

most of us are the victims of comparison.  i grew up comparing myself to the girls with cuter and larger wardrobes.  as an adult, i compared myself with my friends who were getting new cars and buying newer homes.  i'm not sure this is good logic, but maybe we could to find a new comparison that works for us…not so much a comparison as new people to look up to.  i read blogs that emphasize this way of life on saturday mornings.  i started doing this so that i could remind myself of my values before i was tempted off to the shopping scene.  it realigns my weekend ahead.  it makes me feel part of a community…not alone.  finding a real life friend who embraces these values fully has proven more difficult.

my ability to recognize enough was first inspired by others choosing to live with less than i had.  choosing to pare down my stash of everything made that pared down state the desirable goal.  now i don't want to wreck that state of less…with more.  ta-da!  :)  sounds so simplistic…it takes a lot of work…and time for the mind to adjust…but, i think it pretty much is that simple.  

this journal is meant to encourage you, my friends, in your journey...and me in mine…and i'd love it if you spoke back!  i like to write about simplicity here…simple wardrobes, simple recipes, simple pleasures.  at the core of these…or maybe as a result of these…or maybe in the midst of seeking them…comes this idea of the power of enough.  may we all find it and keep it at the ready.

image above is from pure green magazine.  a couple creating slowly and deliberately and inspiring me to see beauty in the simple life.  and actually you could see more of it through my etsy shop (sheepish smile)…not that you need it!  :)  it's just time for me to pass it on.


love,
jane
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sustainability in the suburbs

8/18/2015

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suburbs is sort of a dirty word in sustainability circles.  urban living with its walkability to job, schools, shopping and entertainment gets all the glory…and for good reason.  the ability to live without a car is sublime!  we lived in london for two years…just long enough to experience a bit of what life is like there.  we lived 9 miles from the center of london, so essentially in the suburbs... well, sort of.  we had a car, but it mostly stayed parked unless we wanted to get away.  buses and trains were accessible, and walking (even in the rain) is the norm.

i had begun to immerse myself in sustainable living before moving overseas.  we sold everything we didn't take on the plane with us.  i was ready to embrace a more minimalist life.  while living in london, we decided to start eating vegetarian at home (we would eat what was prepared for us when we were invited elsewhere).  we joined a csa (community supported agriculture).  i tried (unsuccessfully) to grow some food…i think we harvested 2 or 3 tomatoes.  :)

moving back to the states, i was ready to take on more in the way of sustainability.  i wanted to do all of the things that urban living made possible.  we spent weekends trolling downtown neighborhoods and real-estate websites for a small home.  but…my husband's job was in the suburbs.  living downtown would be more expensive and also make his commute a long one.  our church would just be another long commute on sundays, and we wouldn't live in the same community as our soon to be friends there.  

i was also extremely attracted to farm life.  growing our own food and having some left over to feed our community sounds idyllic.  we spent weekends touring the countryside searching for places with for sale signs.  expense, commute, and proximity again became issues.  neither farm nor urban living looked like the best option for us.

so, here we are in the suburbs…in the land of strip malls and big box stores.  the sprawl extends for miles and miles.  our first visit here had me in tears over the endless strip malls stretching from city to city.  it was shockingly unfamiliar (we lived in a smaller town in new mexico for 3 years before our move to london).  i'd realigned my values and this immense consumerist wonderland was overwhelming.  i just didn't know if i could stand it.

but, yeah.  almost five years have passed and we are aware of many blessings offered in where God positioned us.  my husband bikes to and from work most days now.  we have a vegetable garden that takes advantage of the suburban lot we live on.  we choose to frequent a farmer's market, credit union, library, whole foods, ice cream shops, coffee shops, music store, and post office…all quite close to home.  jo works and attends college close to home.  we just choose to stay local for the most part.  it cuts down on milage and emissions.

sustainability in the suburbs may not be quite as recognized as that in the city or on the farm, but i do think that it is a workable goal.  our suburb is the right place for our family right now, and i intend to share how we strive for an ever shrinking footprint from right where we are.

love,
jane
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in season:  potatoes

8/17/2015

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i finally dug up the second half of our potatoes this weekend.  they were no worse for the weeks that i left them sitting in the ground..and they are so good!  i'm still sometimes struck with awe at the fact that we are able to grow real food in our yard!  and this is really good organic food  that fills our plates and provides nutrition.  duh, but still!  :)  dirt, seeds, rain and sunshine…dear God, You have amazing ideas!  here is one of the many ways we've been enjoying our potatoes (and tomatoes too) lately.
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a different kind of potato salad:  farmer's market lettuce + garden roasted potatoes + garden tomatoes + farmers market cilantro + havarti cheese + pepper flakes

love,
jane
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