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what am i looking for?

2/13/2017

7 Comments

 
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While perusing the Table of Contents in a personal finance book, I came across a chapter entitled, "It's never just about the money". I knew immediately what the author meant, and started to consider the "things" that occupy my thoughts. What is it that I believe these things promise? What do I really desire from them?

For me, the things that I want to buy with money seem to promise comfort, in my mind. Maybe they will make me feel warm + cozy...and what I ultimately think love and acceptance and being cherished feel like. I crave comforting things like candles, tea, cake, and thick cashmere at this time of year. A big, soft, enveloping cardigan would make me feel safe and held.

I'm also a very visual person and seeing what is pleasing to the eye...pleases me and makes me feel a little glow inside. It's all about warm white + clutter free spaces, but I like it to feel cohesive and purposeful (not just like things were removed). I'm dreaming about pale whitewashed flooring to replace matted carpet + darker flooring at the moment. I want to remove all the stuff on the open shelves and to replace it with a curated, earthy ceramics collection. I imagine that these surroundings would feel calm + open and like I'm being embraced with comfort, ease, lightness and value.

I can actually redefine all of this into beautiful minimalism...which means that more things are not the answer. Less is actually my goal. I want a small home with solar panels and a garden. I don't struggle with wanting a bigger home or a nicer car to prove my worth and success. I don't crave fancy jewelry or loads of clothing. Less is a relief...a harbor...a goal that makes me happier rather than wantier. Less is my choice and when I measure what I have against it, I find that I have in abundance. I have a few candles. I have tea. I have a warm, cozy sweater + a fluffy blanket too. Sometimes I even have a piece of cake.  :) I have dry floors + a few lovely, small pieces of earthy pottery. I can save toward new flooring and solar panels too (if we decide to). I do not need to chase warm + cozy + comfort + ease. I have them. And acceptance + love + being cherished + value + lightness...well, those are best pursued through my spiritual life and my relationships with those around me. "Things" will never provide them.

Love,
Jane
7 Comments
Elisa
2/13/2017 05:40:52 am

This is a very interesting thought. I really need to think about what I want to acquire when I purchase a thing. Maybe that helps when I really want to buy something when I could certainly do without. I experience this right now with upgrading/replacing things I already have (the quest for the *perfect* university/travel/everything backpack for example).

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jane link
2/14/2017 01:08:42 pm

Oh 'perfect'! I struggle with this too. Wanting less puts more pressure on getting each item just right! Ugh. :)

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Celia link
2/15/2017 08:53:08 am

Oh gosh, yes. This can make me crazy!

Julie link
2/13/2017 08:23:58 am

It's like you read my mind. :)

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jane link
2/14/2017 01:09:18 pm

cheers! :)

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Elisa
2/19/2017 12:55:16 pm

I stumbled upon this quote today (saved it a long time ago on my laptop) and had to think of you.

Learn to like what doesn’t cost much.
Learn to like reading, conversation, music.
Learn to like plain food, plain service, plain cooking.
Learn to like fields, trees, brooks, hiking, rowing, climbing hills.
Learn to like people, even though some of them may be different…different from you.
Learn to like to work and enjoy the satisfaction doing your job as well as it can be done.
Learn to like the song of birds, the companionship of dogs.
Learn to like gardening, puttering around the house, and fixing things.
Learn to like the sunrise and sunset, the beating of rain on the roof and windows, and the gentle fall of snow on a winter day.
Learn to keep your wants simple and refuse to be controlled by the likes and dislikes of others.

- Lowell C. Bennion

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Jane link
2/19/2017 06:33:04 pm

Oh, this is everything! Thank you so, so much for taking the time to type it here!!

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