We've been going to yoga lately, and the littlest things will bring me to the edge of tears. When we are nearing the end of our practice, our teacher often says that we may want to say "thank you". A thank you that I realize I almost never say...to my own capable body. When we take the stance called five star, we stretch our hands up wide + spread our legs...and our teacher says, "Take up all the space you need. You belong here. You are enough." My usual tendency is to try to take up as little space as possible when I am in a group. I want to be small, to attract no attention, to get in no one's way.
I think that "stuff" can be a way that we try to pile identity onto our small selves in order to matter...even if only to ourselves. We can use "stuff" like stickers or hashtags to label ourselves. Wear a leather jacket...put on the laid-back badass sticker. Pile up the intellectual books that I mean to read...put on the smart sticker. Cover the walls with concert posters, collect 1000 vintage records, + fill the closet with band tees...put on the cool, music lover sticker.
Am I still a badass if I show up to the protest without the leather jacket? Am I still thoughtful + curious if I simply check out a couple books at a time from the library (+ read them)? Am I still a music lover if my music simply streams through my headphones? These questions just sound silly...of course.
But I also know that we can get hung up somewhere between the last two paragraphs. And by all means, if the leather jacket or the record collection makes you happy... and there is enough room for it...and caring for it is a joy...keep it (or the best parts of it). If it has become a burden or a source of frustration...you are enough. Our things don't make us who we are. Two band t-shirts that get rotated every Saturday could be just right. A collection of the 12 books that really made an impact on how we think might be treasured rather than buried.
At some point we just might realize that that there isn't a "thing" that adds to who we are.
I am enough. You are enough. We get to take up all the space...not our stuff.
Love,
Jane
I think that "stuff" can be a way that we try to pile identity onto our small selves in order to matter...even if only to ourselves. We can use "stuff" like stickers or hashtags to label ourselves. Wear a leather jacket...put on the laid-back badass sticker. Pile up the intellectual books that I mean to read...put on the smart sticker. Cover the walls with concert posters, collect 1000 vintage records, + fill the closet with band tees...put on the cool, music lover sticker.
Am I still a badass if I show up to the protest without the leather jacket? Am I still thoughtful + curious if I simply check out a couple books at a time from the library (+ read them)? Am I still a music lover if my music simply streams through my headphones? These questions just sound silly...of course.
But I also know that we can get hung up somewhere between the last two paragraphs. And by all means, if the leather jacket or the record collection makes you happy... and there is enough room for it...and caring for it is a joy...keep it (or the best parts of it). If it has become a burden or a source of frustration...you are enough. Our things don't make us who we are. Two band t-shirts that get rotated every Saturday could be just right. A collection of the 12 books that really made an impact on how we think might be treasured rather than buried.
At some point we just might realize that that there isn't a "thing" that adds to who we are.
I am enough. You are enough. We get to take up all the space...not our stuff.
Love,
Jane
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