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surrender :: 02

9/27/2018

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Struggle is a common word in this space. It's an honest word when it comes to parts of my journey toward simple, fair, compassionate living. One of the main things I've kept in mind from the beginning is that moving toward "fair" simply involves one choice at a time. I don't need to tackle an entire shift all at once...I move toward a fair wardrobe one choice at a time. I move toward zero-waste one choice at a time.

It is in these choices that I sometimes encounter struggle. As I address needs in my wardrobe, for example, the choices are not always black + white. Sometimes I can't find a fair + affordable version of exactly what I'm looking for. Sometimes one piece can't address fit, comfort, presentability, uniqueness, affordability, + longevity all at once...and I have to prioritize. Sometimes my desire for clothing to mask my imperfections + to say something about me too is just too much to ask.

This summer I struggled to assemble a collection of clothing that consistently felt like enough + like "me"...was presentable + appropriate + comfortable...wasn't too many pieces. It's been a couple of a years since I've felt such unrest in this area.

Learned :: Where there is struggle...the path to rest often involves some sort of surrender.

In regards to my clothing, one or more of the following could be surrendered:
1. want...I can't have everything
2. the desire to look a certain way...thin, young, hip...
3. less...I might need a few more pieces
4. the perfect fit
5. the idea of the perfect piece
6. dollars
7. style...I could just choose to give in to what can be found thrifting
8. the fairdare...I might not be able to find a completely fair version of something I need
9. materials...I might find that plastic fibers work best right now for some items
10. the desire for the perfect, simple collection of pieces
11. "need"...maybe I can uncomfortably do without

Sometimes it can be difficult to decide what to surrender...but I've found that at least sometimes it must be something. My values (fairdare, natural materials, budget, less) definitely provide some guidance. This summer after struggling to "fix" my wardrobe, I opted for somewhat uncomfortably doing without. 

The dress above was one I carefully planned to purchase. When it arrived, I just felt unsettled. Yes, I think it's fair...and it's fun (+ I am worthy of some fun). It felt like the perfect thing to wear the day it arrived + on an upcoming vacation. But I couldn't think of a way I'd like to wear it as the temperatures dip...I wasn't completely convinced that it was flattering on me...and it's quite an investment piece. But I love the colors + the weight of the fabric... + it's fun! 

Today I packed it back up to return + I instantly felt more at peace than I had the entire day before. Surrendering my "right" to own that beautiful dress + returning it was the right decision for today. The peace of mind confirmed it.

Also :: Perfect is the enemy of good. Perfection is always a good candidate for surrender.  :)

Love,
​Jane
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    on a journey toward zero-waste, simplicity, + compassion :: daring to choose fair one choice at a time
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