The promotion of self-care is everywhere, and that's no surprise. We live busy lives filled with obligation, and many (most?) of us are left feeling depleted. And when something can be sold...the opportunity is sure to be leapt upon with great vigor. A search for self-care on beauty + fashion websites produces lists of posh meditation + yoga retreat centers or lists of products to purchase. A search on instagram produces pictures of coffeeshop drinks + facials + sculpted eyebrows + toddler's hands painted with nail polish.
When we take a minute to think about what we would truly like to get out of self-care...we might desire it to spark healing + rejuvenation. The way we often partake, however, is more as a sort of quick fix. We look for hits of dopamine/pleasure that we can get from things like shopping + sugar. These indulgences act as a sort of inadequate bandaid used to patch over an unwell life...when what we are really searching for is a feeling of peace within our minds + souls.
As a matter of perspective:
--This whole understanding of self-care seems to be relatively new. Self-care has long been a term used in the mental health care field to determine a person's ability to care for him or her self + to perform the activities of daily living such as feeding oneself, bathing, getting dressed, brushing teeth + remaining continent.
--It's interesting to think about what self-care would have meant to the masses up until quite recently. Making sure that a family or tribe had shelter, enough to eat, firewood + appropriate clothing was a full-time endeavor. Surely this is + was considered self-care. This is the way many around the world would still view self-care today.
--Our own views of self-care will vary based on personal preferences + life circumstances.
I think that many of us (and quite possibly even those mentioned above) could agree to some degree that the goal of good self-care is to enable thriving. Self-care can take many forms, but if we neglect the roots of our stress, anxiety + barriers the effects will be fleeting.
Effective self-care comes down to truly knowing ourselves + taking an honest look at the lives we are living. If self-care is, at least in part, about being able to take care of ourselves...we can start by asking ourselves:
-Am I getting enough sleep?
-Am I feeling nourished through the foods I eat?
-Does showering, washing hair + brushing teeth feel like a chore?
-Is my/our laundry routine working for me/my family?
-How is my health? Mentally? Physically? Spiritually? Am I self-medicating in a negative way?
-Do I have some supportive people in my life? Do I feel isolated?
-Is my living situation clean, safe + nurturing?
-What parts of my life feel overwhelming?
Once we've been thoughtful + honest about our current reality, we can go back to each of these questions + think about what we would like the answer to be or look like. Be as specific as possible. Do you want to start each week with clean sheets + a stack of clean underwear? Do you want your littles to know what to wear each morning? Write it down. This can start to direct our self-care efforts.
Now...clean sheets on Sundays...that's self-care. Organizing your littles' closets so that all five pairs of their pants match all seven of their tees + their two hoodies (it's not just about matching...it's mainly about less)...that's self-care. Another frappe could never touch the thriving that these actions will bring!
We'll dive a little bit deeper into self-care here in the days to come.
My desire is for your health + thriving. As always, these are just my thoughts + not a substitute for professional mental health care. Please be kind to yourself + ask for help, if you think it might be helpful.
Also in this series :: time + wellness
Much love,
Jane
When we take a minute to think about what we would truly like to get out of self-care...we might desire it to spark healing + rejuvenation. The way we often partake, however, is more as a sort of quick fix. We look for hits of dopamine/pleasure that we can get from things like shopping + sugar. These indulgences act as a sort of inadequate bandaid used to patch over an unwell life...when what we are really searching for is a feeling of peace within our minds + souls.
As a matter of perspective:
--This whole understanding of self-care seems to be relatively new. Self-care has long been a term used in the mental health care field to determine a person's ability to care for him or her self + to perform the activities of daily living such as feeding oneself, bathing, getting dressed, brushing teeth + remaining continent.
--It's interesting to think about what self-care would have meant to the masses up until quite recently. Making sure that a family or tribe had shelter, enough to eat, firewood + appropriate clothing was a full-time endeavor. Surely this is + was considered self-care. This is the way many around the world would still view self-care today.
--Our own views of self-care will vary based on personal preferences + life circumstances.
I think that many of us (and quite possibly even those mentioned above) could agree to some degree that the goal of good self-care is to enable thriving. Self-care can take many forms, but if we neglect the roots of our stress, anxiety + barriers the effects will be fleeting.
Effective self-care comes down to truly knowing ourselves + taking an honest look at the lives we are living. If self-care is, at least in part, about being able to take care of ourselves...we can start by asking ourselves:
-Am I getting enough sleep?
-Am I feeling nourished through the foods I eat?
-Does showering, washing hair + brushing teeth feel like a chore?
-Is my/our laundry routine working for me/my family?
-How is my health? Mentally? Physically? Spiritually? Am I self-medicating in a negative way?
-Do I have some supportive people in my life? Do I feel isolated?
-Is my living situation clean, safe + nurturing?
-What parts of my life feel overwhelming?
Once we've been thoughtful + honest about our current reality, we can go back to each of these questions + think about what we would like the answer to be or look like. Be as specific as possible. Do you want to start each week with clean sheets + a stack of clean underwear? Do you want your littles to know what to wear each morning? Write it down. This can start to direct our self-care efforts.
Now...clean sheets on Sundays...that's self-care. Organizing your littles' closets so that all five pairs of their pants match all seven of their tees + their two hoodies (it's not just about matching...it's mainly about less)...that's self-care. Another frappe could never touch the thriving that these actions will bring!
We'll dive a little bit deeper into self-care here in the days to come.
My desire is for your health + thriving. As always, these are just my thoughts + not a substitute for professional mental health care. Please be kind to yourself + ask for help, if you think it might be helpful.
Also in this series :: time + wellness
Much love,
Jane
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