I had plans for this to be a good year for our vegetable garden. My seeds were started inside early in the year. Before I could get them in the ground, however, life threw me a curve ball. Suddenly I had some choices to make about how I would spend my energy in the months to come.
Early on, I resolved to plant the seeds + tend the soil. With a little more time, I decided to let myself off the hook with the garden. I just didn't have energy to do it all...even all the good things.
We ended up with some resilient tomatoes + cucumbers anyway (when we decided to go out + get them). The other day, we pulled the tangle of weeds + vines from our garden beds and added spring's compost that still sat in the garage. As I pulled the last leaves, beets dangled heavily underneath them. I couldn't believe it. Were these survivors from our spring planting or were these late developments from months old seeds? I cut one open + found juicy gold inside.
Early on, I resolved to plant the seeds + tend the soil. With a little more time, I decided to let myself off the hook with the garden. I just didn't have energy to do it all...even all the good things.
We ended up with some resilient tomatoes + cucumbers anyway (when we decided to go out + get them). The other day, we pulled the tangle of weeds + vines from our garden beds and added spring's compost that still sat in the garage. As I pulled the last leaves, beets dangled heavily underneath them. I couldn't believe it. Were these survivors from our spring planting or were these late developments from months old seeds? I cut one open + found juicy gold inside.
A couple weeks ago, I felt a fierce urgency to set myself up for what comes next at work. I struggled with how to go about doing this for most of the weekend. That Sunday evening, the idea of just loosening by grip + releasing all of the striving occurred to me. My mind seemed to suddenly clear + my perspective shifted totally.
Instead of setting myself up for leadership, I realized that I don't actually need to assert myself in that way. I don't want my currency to be more hours or more status or even more money. I realize that this signals a level of privilege. Certainly there is a point up to which more of these elements truly can translate into a better life. We talk about this often here in terms of garment workers and farmers. But at a certain point happiness or fulfillment levels off + can even begin to decline in relation to increased income. Scientists call this the fulfillment curve. I'm not sure I've reached the top of the curve, but I do believe that we can reach the top of the curve more quickly when we decrease our wants.
We swim in a sea where capitalism is king, and capitalism is all about accumulation. I've come to see clearly that accumulation is not my goal. I don't need a bigger wardrobe, a bigger house, a fancier car or better jewelry. My currency is love...love to give + to receive. My currency is joy, wonder, freedom, friendship, choice...choice in the form of how I spend as much of my time as possible.
Who knows where my work will take me? I've been able to raise questions + influence change from the bottom. I do not need to grasp at power or take every opportunity to make more money in exchange for my precious time. I'm not opposed to taking a leadership position, but the decision to shift into that position will be a carefully considered one should the opportunity arise.
Instead of setting myself up for leadership, I realized that I don't actually need to assert myself in that way. I don't want my currency to be more hours or more status or even more money. I realize that this signals a level of privilege. Certainly there is a point up to which more of these elements truly can translate into a better life. We talk about this often here in terms of garment workers and farmers. But at a certain point happiness or fulfillment levels off + can even begin to decline in relation to increased income. Scientists call this the fulfillment curve. I'm not sure I've reached the top of the curve, but I do believe that we can reach the top of the curve more quickly when we decrease our wants.
We swim in a sea where capitalism is king, and capitalism is all about accumulation. I've come to see clearly that accumulation is not my goal. I don't need a bigger wardrobe, a bigger house, a fancier car or better jewelry. My currency is love...love to give + to receive. My currency is joy, wonder, freedom, friendship, choice...choice in the form of how I spend as much of my time as possible.
Who knows where my work will take me? I've been able to raise questions + influence change from the bottom. I do not need to grasp at power or take every opportunity to make more money in exchange for my precious time. I'm not opposed to taking a leadership position, but the decision to shift into that position will be a carefully considered one should the opportunity arise.
We tend to focus on the benefits gained by focusing on our priorities, but it might be just as valuable to take note of the benefits gained by letting go.
Open hands. Let go. Receive.
Love,
Jane
Open hands. Let go. Receive.
Love,
Jane
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