Like so many of us, I've been grappling with how to feel about the state of things most especially these past few weeks. Becoming overwhelmed by anger or spiraling into a state of despair are tempting but ill-advised options when there are daughters to fight for...sons...friends...sisters...fellow humans too. The patriarchy has never so clearly been revealed as the enemy in my awareness as it is right now. This week a man with a lot of power said, "It's a very scary time for young men in America." What an even more scary time it is for young women then. When we identify more with the aggressors than with the victims in any given situation...whether we are thinking of police shootings, systemic racism, white supremacy, rape or assault...we need to question our alignment + motives. (Yep, I understand that he's identifying with who he sees as the (raging) victim...but in this situation that completely ignores the credibility + suffering of Christine Blasey Ford.)
My heart breaks for girls + boys who's perceptions of trust + entitlement are shaken + broken not only by their personal circumstances, but by the news from the very highest positions of power! The messaging is not subtle. You won't be believed. You have to have proof...but only if you are the victim. We don't want to disrupt a white, middle to upper class boy's life. You must have worn the wrong thing, said the wrong thing, drank too much. You can get away with it. Boys will be boys + girls will be trash. Further objectification (rather than the valuing of human worth + enduring love) will be the result. I wonder how to fight it. How do I keep cynicism from taking over the developing minds in my care? How do I nurture hope + compassion in the face of such disregard for all things female?
We give what we do not always get from others.
At the very least women can believe women. We can vote for women. We can run for office or encourage our female friends to do so. We can advocate for women. We can cheer for + support women who make the same decisions as us + for those who make different decisions for themselves. We can love + champion working mamas + work-at-home mamas + single mamas + women who aren't mamas + women who want to be mamas + differently abled women + refugee mamas + immigrant mamas + incarcerated mamas + addicted mamas + sick mamas + pregnant mamas + gay women + dying women + minimum wage earning mamas + poor girls + rich girls + bullied girls + enslaved women + transgender women + raped women + assaulted women + battered women + homeless women + Muslim women + Hindu girls + abandoned girls + orphaned girls + uneducated girls + hungry girls + all of the other kinds of women + girls! We can see girls + women apart from their labels + enveloped in their inherent value. We can raise sons who value girls and stand up with + for girls. We can welcome the men who join us. I have hope, because I know women have great strength + intelligence + creativity + endurance + kindness + love + will + grit. I have hope because I know my daughters.
Love,
Jane
P.S. (10/5/18) This is a great listen.
My heart breaks for girls + boys who's perceptions of trust + entitlement are shaken + broken not only by their personal circumstances, but by the news from the very highest positions of power! The messaging is not subtle. You won't be believed. You have to have proof...but only if you are the victim. We don't want to disrupt a white, middle to upper class boy's life. You must have worn the wrong thing, said the wrong thing, drank too much. You can get away with it. Boys will be boys + girls will be trash. Further objectification (rather than the valuing of human worth + enduring love) will be the result. I wonder how to fight it. How do I keep cynicism from taking over the developing minds in my care? How do I nurture hope + compassion in the face of such disregard for all things female?
We give what we do not always get from others.
At the very least women can believe women. We can vote for women. We can run for office or encourage our female friends to do so. We can advocate for women. We can cheer for + support women who make the same decisions as us + for those who make different decisions for themselves. We can love + champion working mamas + work-at-home mamas + single mamas + women who aren't mamas + women who want to be mamas + differently abled women + refugee mamas + immigrant mamas + incarcerated mamas + addicted mamas + sick mamas + pregnant mamas + gay women + dying women + minimum wage earning mamas + poor girls + rich girls + bullied girls + enslaved women + transgender women + raped women + assaulted women + battered women + homeless women + Muslim women + Hindu girls + abandoned girls + orphaned girls + uneducated girls + hungry girls + all of the other kinds of women + girls! We can see girls + women apart from their labels + enveloped in their inherent value. We can raise sons who value girls and stand up with + for girls. We can welcome the men who join us. I have hope, because I know women have great strength + intelligence + creativity + endurance + kindness + love + will + grit. I have hope because I know my daughters.
Love,
Jane
P.S. (10/5/18) This is a great listen.
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