I do think I'm getting better though. Planning + noticing "enough" are habits which I am trying to be conscious of + to cultivate. We could call this "satisfaction training".
I've spent plenty of years doing the exact opposite. I didn't mean to...and that's probably the problem. I unknowingly enrolled myself in "wanty training". Strolling the shops, just for fun...perusing magazines, just for inspiration...pinning images on pinterest, just for later...cruising instagram, just to keep up. It's all just wanty training. I'm pretty wanty buff.
In years past, when I saw shopping as the best entertainment, I'd just always be on the lookout for something cute. I never really stopped shopping. If shopping is entertainment, it is always better when a purchase is involved. We all know about the high that comes from purchasing...but what about the remorse + guilt that come slightly after that? I know all about that too. Now that I'm in satisfaction training, however, it usually feels better to come home empty handed...for real! I know that I already have enough...+ frankly, more would often just feel like too much. Yuck.
In my wardrobe, I find one of the habits that helps me glimpse satisfaction is to decide when the time for shopping is over. The process I employ in order to reach this point involves:
-choosing to have less (so important!!)
-organizing seasons (warm, cold, + transition, for me)
-assessing what worked + didn't work at the end of each season
-revisiting that assessment at the beginning of the next corresponding season + reassessing what is left to work with
-making a list of items to look for
-thrifting, sewing, + browsing
-calling it good (i.e. enough...satisfaction)...shopping break!
That last one is truly the key. Looking at the season's pieces altogether and deciding that I have enough...that is the point at which I can take a huge, deep breath + let it go. No more buying necessary. I have enough!!! (my mind can scream triumphantly!) What liberation! What glorious freedom!
In our diet we address enough by plating food first rather than eating "family style" (with serving bowls/platters heaped with sides + main dishes). This allows us to see that our plates contain enough, before we start eating. It also allows us to savor what we have instead of gulping it down in order to beat others to second helpings. Sweets are my weakness...so I'm still training in that category. Setting some guidelines about what + how often is enough...+ sticking to that works well...when I stick to that. :)
In our home, the feeling of enough might result from something along these lines: last Saturday I rearranged our living room furniture...and then dusted + rearranged the bookshelf bits. I like it. Then why do I immediately wonder what I could add or substitute to make things better? Why am I always searching for better? Yikes!
Today, (admittedly, after cruising my pinterest board + a couple home websites) I looked around. I took in each piece...the vintage butterfly chair that I've always wanted...the carmelly leather of Mr. Tribe's chair...the vintage woven stools that I scored on craigslist...the couch that I love. And I caught that fleeting glimpse of satisfaction. My living room is good! It is not perfect, but it is so, so good!
I wanted to write it here...put it into words...think it through...recognize it...+ name it...enough! I wish I knew that these feelings were mine to keep forever...that they would never leave...but I'm in training...and that's OK. I'm getting stronger all the time.
Summer satisfaction actions:
-no more clothes (except the ones that I've planned + already have materials to make)
-no more home stuff
-ice cream...just not every day :)
-notice, name, + revel in enough
Love,
Jane